Caller: “Hi, I’m calling to ask to see the two-room apartment on Kievskaya/Logvinenko for $400 a month that you just listed on the internet five minutes ago.”
Real Estate Agency: “I’m sorry, that apartment is no longer available, but we have several other excellent apartments available for your consideration.”
Caller: “Already? Gone? Seriously? It was just posted five minutes ago… what happened to it?”
Real Estate Agency: “Well, obviously someone wanted it more than you did. You should pay more attention next time, and not wait so long to call.”
Caller: “What the…?! Ok… well what are the other apartments you have?”
Real Estate Agency: “Well, we have an excellent apartment in the 28th microrayon, also two rooms, not far from the city center, and very very nice.”
Caller: “The 28th microrayon? Where is that?”
Real Estate Agency: “It’s just slightly southwest of the city, in Kadamjai.”
Caller: “Kadamjai? Isn’t that in Batken oblast?”
Real Estate Agency: “Well, yes, but it’s really not that far – you can easily commute several times a week via marshrutka, and it offers lots of advantages over apartments in the center of Bishkek: less traffic, cleaner air, and more opportunities to get involved in trafficking illicit narcotics.”
Caller: “Hmmm… alright. Does it have an Ariston?”
Real Estate Agency: “Not an Ariston per se, but it is usually sunny there, and there are lots of mountains, so you can easily just take a warm bath in the sun in the melted snow – it’s very good for your organism.”
Caller, trying not to sound frustrated: “And in the summer? Does it have an air conditioner?”
Real Estate Agency: “Actually yes – the doors and windows come preventilated with holes to give you excellent airflow through the apartment during the summer.”
Caller, about ready to give up: “Ummmm… ok, well how about the neighborhood – is it safe?”
Real Estate Agency: “Completely – the IMU are very friendly people when they pass through every spring and fall – always willing to lend a spare Kalashnikov or two or pitch in to help you eliminate a local border guard infestation.”
Caller, after a long pause: “Don’t you have anything slightly less… borderline?”
Real Estate Agency: “Absolutely! We have an excellent one-room apartment in the Almaty suburbs, and it’s only $1,200 a month!”
LOL, this is very true actually.
By: Tolkun on March 13, 2008
at 12:15 am
Hah, but you know, Kochevnik: It IS your own fault if you call so late!
By: Inostranka on March 13, 2008
at 3:08 pm