From now on, I will be the nomadic correspondent of Nomadistan – I am sure there are a lot of interesting remarks to be made about the European (non)perception of Central Asia.  Sitting in the middle of Berlin has (definately more than five, but that would break the narrative of my former posts!) five advantages:

1. Berlin is a very multiethnic and exciting city and the buses and metrolines get you around 24/7 (except for the times when they go on strike like this entire week – then nothing moves at all… and I started thinking about renting a minibus and putting up a sign in the windshield saying: Marshrut 204 – from Alexanderplatz to Zoo).

2. You can drink beer or coffee on the street.

3. Libraries!!!

4. The mayor of Berlin entered his office with the words: “I am gay and it is good that way.”

5. Policemen also stop you on the street, but usually you do not have to pay your way out.

5 reasons to go back to Kyrgyzstan:

1. The mountains.

2. The sun – maybe the sun spends too much time in Central Asia, because it barely comes around to Berlin (but in exchange Berlin has another good old friend “horizontal rain” stopping by almost every other day).

3. Time goes by slower in Kyrgyzstan.

4. Politicians do not even pretend to live by democratic rules (I admit, this could also be a reason to leave Kyrgyzstan).

5. Lagman

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling to ask to see the two-room apartment on Kievskaya/Logvinenko for $400 a month that you just listed on the internet five minutes ago.”

Real Estate Agency: “I’m sorry, that apartment is no longer available, but we have several other excellent apartments available for your consideration.”

Caller: “Already? Gone? Seriously? It was just posted five minutes ago… what happened to it?”

Real Estate Agency: “Well, obviously someone wanted it more than you did. You should pay more attention next time, and not wait so long to call.”

Caller: “What the…?! Ok… well what are the other apartments you have?”

Real Estate Agency: “Well, we have an excellent apartment in the 28th microrayon, also two rooms, not far from the city center, and very very nice.”

Caller: “The 28th microrayon? Where is that?”

Real Estate Agency: “It’s just slightly southwest of the city, in Kadamjai.”

Caller: “Kadamjai? Isn’t that in Batken oblast?”

Real Estate Agency: “Well, yes, but it’s really not that far – you can easily commute several times a week via marshrutka, and it offers lots of advantages over apartments in the center of Bishkek: less traffic, cleaner air, and more opportunities to get involved in trafficking illicit narcotics.”

Caller: “Hmmm… alright.  Does it have an Ariston?”

Real Estate Agency: “Not an Ariston per se, but it is usually sunny there, and there are lots of mountains, so you can easily just take a warm bath in the sun in the melted snow – it’s very good for your organism.”

Caller, trying not to sound frustrated: “And in the summer? Does it have an air conditioner?”

Real Estate Agency: “Actually yes – the doors and windows come preventilated with holes to give you excellent airflow through the apartment during the summer.”

Caller, about ready to give up: “Ummmm… ok, well how about the neighborhood – is it safe?”

Real Estate Agency: “Completely – the IMU are very friendly people when they pass through every spring and fall – always willing to lend a spare Kalashnikov or two or pitch in to help you eliminate a local border guard infestation.”

Caller, after a long pause: “Don’t you have anything slightly less… borderline?”

Real Estate Agency: “Absolutely! We have an excellent one-room apartment in the Almaty suburbs, and it’s only $1,200 a month!”

Have you ever thought why the street traffic in Kyrgyzstan is so bad? People do not know how to drive and therefore they periodically break the rules. Why? You can get the answer by watching this short video that was made in Bishkek about a month ago.

This is a reality of streets in Kyrgyzstan. Just imagine what is happening in the offices of high ranking people, where it is impossible to install hidden cameras…

Kyrgyzstan is so much more than just its capital Bishkek. It at least is also: Osh. As one of my friends described it: “Osh is the OTHER city in Kyrgyztan.”

5 reasons to fly to Osh:

1. You get the chance to feel like you are on a marshrutka with wings glued to it – and you get to see the mountains VERY closely.

2. You can slide down a rock on Suleymantoo.

3. The bazaar in Osh is so much better than the Osh bazaar in Bishkek – especially the dried fruits you can buy there – and the Lenin statue is bigger; at the same time everything costs only half as much as in Bishkek.

4. It is almost like being in Uzbekistan (I heard) – just the stars in Uzbekistan shine brighter.

5. Lagman and Ticos.

5 reasons to leave Osh again:

1. Restaurants and bars close too early.

2. All programs dealing with the obvious problem of waste seem to have failed.

3. Nobody seems to know what a shisha/kalian is.

4. Organized crime will get you someday.

5. If you do not leave, you never get to have a crazy life threatening 10 hours drive on a taxi to Bishkek through the mountains – with a stunning panorama.

Photos posted by Elena Skochilo, available at: http://morrire.blogspot.com/

Santa Claus, also known as Russian Ded Moroz and Kyrgyz Ayaz Ata (in both languages translated as Father Frost) is a folkloric hero that brings gifts during the holiday seasons (on Christmas Day in Western countries and on New Year’s Day in the former Soviet Union). For many centuries this mysterious Father Christmas had been known to live in Lapland, Finland. However, in 2007 a group of Swedish scientists from SWECO insisted that Santa needs to relocate to Kyrgyzstan. According to them, by starting his journey from Kyrgyzstan, Santa can achieve the most efficient trip around the world to distribute gifts to millions of kids. As the scientists say, Santa has to make it to 2.5 billion households just in one night. Further, they justified that there are 34 microseconds to be spent on each house in order to travel at 5,800 kilometers per second. (ANI, London) “Kyrgyzstan is the best place because it is close to China and India, while it is also located in the northern hemisphere, which is more densely populated than the southern,”- said the group of scientists. So, simply saying, in order to travel that distance in such a short time, Santa Claus needs to start from Kyrgyzstan.

Though it was expected to create original ideas for Christmas presents and cards, it created a big controversy. A 606 Magazine they have claimed that it is impossible for Santa to travel the Earth with more than two million tons of presents, given energy spent per second. In order to be able to travel, clearly, Santa has to travel in space where there is no resistance. So be it as it may, Kyrgyz officials greeted this news with a great enthusiasm. On December 30, there was a mini Santa festival in Bishkek. At the central square of Bishkek there were more than 300 Santas, including Russian Ded Moroz and Kyrgyz Ayaz Ata that entertained local children and their parents. Later, on February 23 – 25, the Kyrgyz Agency for Tourism organized the International Winter Santa Claus Festival at Karakol ski base (AKI Press, Bishkek). Akbar Djigitov, tourism official, said: “It was a real surprise to find he would be best to set up his home in our country, but we think it perfect. Our mountains are very snowy, so he would feel at home.” Obviously there is a lot of work to be done, in order to be internationally recognized as the home country of Santa Claus.

So, if Santa Claus brings tons of happiness to kids around the world, perhaps, he needs to become Kyrgyzstan’s next president to make the people of this country happy?

 

 

Anyone in doubt about the direction of political orientation for the CIS countries of Central Asia need only look at the press statements and interviews made by Central Asian leaders over the past week to put their doubts to rest. Those unfamiliar with the trials and tribulations of the political situation in Central Asia may have confused some of the statements made in coincidence with the February 22nd informal summit of CIS leaders in Moscow with restatements of loyalty from wayward provinces.

The Kazakh president Nursultan Nazarbaev (in the strongest economic position of any Central Asian leader) characterizes Kazakh – Russian relations by saying, “we are solid allies – and that says everything” and goes on to emphasize the bilateral nature of the relationship – although he pays his dues to Russia’s ego by stating that, “Russia again presents itself as an important geopolitical pole, on which much of the international system depends” (In Russian, here).

Other leaders, such as the apparently universally popular Uzbek president Islam Karimov, have gone the route of more direct flattery by awarding Vladimir Putin the highest award in Uzbekistan, for “great contribution to development of cooperation and strengthening friendship between the two countries.” On the other hand, perhaps the award was just a consolation prize for Putin, whose party received a measly 64% of the vote in the recent Russian elections, compared to Karimov’s 88% in Uzbekistan.

Of course, if a complete focus on Russia and its interests is what you are looking for, look no farther than Kyrgyz president Kurmanbek Bakiev’s interview for the Russian Agency for International Information (in Russian, here). Bakiev spends much of the interview praising the work of Russian-oriented international organizations like the CIS and SCO, while clearly stating the preeminent position of Russia in Kyrgyzstan’s international outlook.

I speak as the president of Kyrgyzstan and say that our nation is for intimate and effective cooperation, first and foremost, with our strategic partner – Russia.

Bakiev strenuously protests any comparison of the political situation in Kyrgyzstan with that in Ukraine and Georgia – two other CIS countries that underwent so-called “color revolutions” in the past few years.

I should say that Kyrgyz democracy is truly different from this [perception]. Sometimes we are compared with Ukraine, with Georgia – but, those were revolutions, there the Americans helped. And what about Kyrgyzstan? We have nothing in common with these revolutionary processes that happened in Ukraine and Georgia, absolutely not.

Bakiev also attemps to allay Russian fears about the American Air Force Base at Manas Airport, as expressed through the reporter’s comment that, “it is said about Americans that if you admit them once they will never leave.” Bakiev responds by saying that, “we will be raising the question of the base’s withdrawal… it will absolutely not be permanent.”

While none of these comments are surprising in and of themselves, certainly the coincidence of them serves to highlight Russia’s continuing dominant role in Central Asia, despite the best efforts of China, Turkey, the EU and US, and others to reduce Russia’s influence.

Photos by Timur Rayimkulov of Kloop.kg

Mother nature has played a little joke on everyone in Bishkek who was pulling out their spring clothes last weekend, as Thursday saw a swift and snowy return to winter weather across Central Asia, with Ashgabat being the only Central Asian capital to escape snow (although a few healthy dust clouds and plenty of wind were reported in the Turkmen capital). However, distillers and purveyors of vodka are welcoming the brutal cold and wind as a welcome boost to their sales as millions of Central Asians cuddle up with the warmth of their crystal-clear friend, whose valuable life-saving properties are being welcomed in climes as distant and warm as Australia.

Two major events to mention:

Fidel Castro, who had been the leader of Cuba since 1959 – and officially elected president since 1976, quietly resigned (for the past 20 months the 81 year old has suffered from severe illness and had assigned his brother Raúl as his substitute).  Shortly before the upcoming presidential elections, he stated that he would physically not be able to further hold the presidential office.  Castro had been the leading figure of Cuba for so long that it is hard for not only Cubans, but also the world community, to imagine an – let’s call it an “in-Fidel” Cuba.

The other major event to me seems that Kosovo has declared independence.  As I was discussing with friends yesterday, how can Kosovo declare independence from Serbia, when there is no acknowledged border to Serbia? Most governmental offices in the north of Kosovo are held by ethnic Serbs – Serbia assigned them to stay put – who have no personal interest in gaining independence from Serbia and in drawing a definite border.  Many citizens of Kosovo however have the hope – encouraged by and large by international actors like the EU and the USA – that independence and statehood will bring economic growth to the conflict stricken region.  Most member states of the EU would approve of an independent Kosovo whereas Russia (oh yes, they still have similar interests within their own borders, don’t they?) is determined to oppose Kosovo’s split from Serbia.  Yet, I personally do not expect Kosovo to immediately experience economic and political improvement.  Since Serbia also does not recognize this declaration of independence as legitimate it is rather likely that multiethnic Kosovo will again face major political difficulties.

As just seen on www.reuters.com: U.N. police have pulled out of a Kosovan border post that was destroyed on Tuesday by Serbs who vow never to submit to the authority of Kosovo’s Albanian government and its Western backers. Danish troops of the NATO-led KFOR peacekeeping force later moved up to secure the border with Serbia proper, KFOR said (more).

American University of Central Asia is an international, multidisciplinary learning community in the American liberal arts tradition that develops enlightened and impassioned leaders for the democratic transformation of Central Asia. On February 15, 2008 the Jogorku Kenesh deputy and chair of Communist Party I. Masaliev submitted for consideration the issue of AUCA’s location by giving a commission to the Ministry of Education and Culture of the Kyrgyz Republic.

“AUCA’s building has a historical value, because it used to belong to the Kyrgyz Government. It also has close ties with our history and I don’t see the point of giving it to private hands” said Masaliev. He also mentioned that the vast majority of AUCA’s students are the government officials’ kids and few of them are from the regions.

1. Almaty has public transport that actually works.

2. Pedestrians have rights. And traffic lights – whereas in Bishkek I noticed that pedestrians share traffic lights with cars, meaning they start walking whenever lights are red for cars.

3. There is coffee house culture.

4. Medeo – Ice Skating in the mountains.

5. Strolling through the city and enjoying sightseeing for more than 90 minutes (where in Bishkek you are definitely done after 90 minutes).

And to stay fair, here are 5 reasons to leave:

1. A simple espresso might cost up to $8.

2. Smog.

3. Apartments are ridiculously expensive.

4. Most of the taxis do not have those practical and recognizable yellow signs on top.

5. Nazarbayev is the president of Kazakhstan.